Sunday, April 6, 2008

Bus adventure part 3

Sliding into a seat on the bus yesterday, Leah pointed to a hole in the floorboard beneath our feet and warned me not to fall through. The hole came in handy when I discovered an old dried up flower in my purse that needed to be discarded. I have a habit of picking bright flowers and carrying them with me for the day, but this one had had been with me for about 2 weeks. I simply let the shriveled flower fall from my hand, and it slipped through the hole beneath my feet, and onto the street. Those buses are so helpful.

A call to live big

I was listening to a sermon today from a friend's church in Seattle. The pastor ended his sermon with a quote by Sophie Scholl. She was a college student who produced and distributed anti-Nazi literature during WWII, for which she was killed. This exerpt from her diary is a profound challenge to me,

"The real damage in this world is done by those millions who want to just survive. Those honest men who just want to be left alone in peace, who don’t want their little lives disturbed by anything bigger than themselves. They’ve got no side, they’ve taken no cause, those who won’t take measure of their own strength for fear of antagonizing their own weakness. These are the real problem. Those who don’t like to make waves or enemies, those for whom freedom and honor and truth and principles are only literature. Those who live small, mate small, die small. It’s this reductionist approach to life. If you keep it small you will keep it under control. If you don’t make any noise, the bad guys won’t find you. But it’s all an illusion because they die too. Those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe? Safe from what? Life is always on the edge of death. Narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues. A little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch. I choose my own way to burn, fidelity to Christ."

I don't want to live a small life. But there are many moments when I find myself pulling inward to try and stay safe. I am like the people Scholl describes who, "roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe." When I do this, my spirit becomes stifled and constricted and I don't know what is wrong. Thankfully I serve a Lord who came to set the captives free. Through Scholl's words, He has reminded me once again not to live a life suffocated by the pursuit of safety and dulled by an absence of risk.