another day...another embarrassing moment

It's bad enough when I try saying "I had a nice trip" and I actually say "I had a nice old woman" (viaje/vieja). But then I have all sorts of other embarrassing things happen.

Last Friday my team and I visited downtown San Jose. As we walked through the pedestrian shopping area admiring the buildings, shops, and Tico's, I was approached by a very large "person". They walked straight towards me with their arms outstretched and suddenly I was enveloped in blue foam. My team turned around just in time to see me being released from the arms of a person dressed up in a foam costume that looked like a credit card. You know...the kind of costume that is usually found at little kid's birthday parties. Although I don't know why anyone would advertise credit cards to little kids. I tried to play it cool, but my team started pointing and laughing and describing how red my face was. They were joined by about a thousand Tico's who were within a 10 foot radius of the scene.

On Saturday Carlos and Tati hosted a welcome party for us. The guest list included the local CCC board of directors. Towards the end of the night I noticed that my friend Juan and his wife were saying goodbye to everyone. I approached Juan to give him a kiss on the cheek and say goodbye but he blocked the kiss with his hand and said, "No." I was shocked because Juan is usually so friendly.

Carlos yelled from across the room, "Juan is giving you, Leah, and Jared a ride home." I didn't need to say goodbye because I was actually leaving too! Again I heard the laughter and derision of my team.

car alarms and wrong numbers

This morning my roomie and I went on a walk around the neighborhood. We passed by a teal green car with it's alarm going off. Not so unusual because car alarms are as common as birds chirping. But what was unusual was a parking attendant who nonchalantly and thoroughly washed the car as it was beeping and blaring and trying to get someone's attention that it was being violated. At least I think it was a parking attendant. Maybe he was a car thief who was trying to throw me off with his "good samaritan" spirit.

In other news...I have found that every time my house phone rings I get nervous. Will I answer right? Will I be able to understand the person? Will men keep calling and asking for a someone named Alexis? Every day a different man calls and asks for Alexis...it's starting to make me wonder about the woman who was the previous resident. I've finally figured out four simple words to communicate she doesn't live here. "Ella no vive aqui".

I end up talking to random men on my cell phone too...
Today I answered my cell phone and after a volley of "hello" between me and the caller, I finally heard him say ...."mi amor". That was my cue to hang up. I don't know who this guy is but I'm certainly not his love. It's at moments like these that I am glad I don't understand much Spanish....

My apartment is quite secure

I think I found the most secure apartment in all of San Jose. Today the security was so tight that I couldn't even get in.

I went out this morning to run a quick errand. I headed to the mall where there is a bank that I can exchange money at. On the way, a friend called and we chatted for 30 minutes. Then I got to the bank and it was closed...it doesn't open until 1pm. Well I thought I could at least grab a quick coffee at a great Italian coffee stand in the mall. Only it took me 5 minutes of butchering Spanish before I could understand how much it cost. The guy next to me shouted out the cost in English...so I paid exactly what he said...and received money back.

Anyway, I digress from my secure apartment. After returning from the mall I walked through the iron gate and then up to the door. I don't have a key to this door because the guard who is on duty 24/7 is the one who opens the door to get into the building. After I am inside, I use 2 keys to get into my apartment. Typically the outside door buzzes open automatically because the guard is outside in a little box and he sees me approaching. But if I need to get his attention, there is a doorbell to ring. So I rang the doorbell and waited....and waited...and waited. I rang again and waited. This scene repeated about 10 times. A mixture of frustration and hilarity overcame me. And I walked across the street to the Crusade house to get some work done.

Three hours later I returned, hoping to penetrate the iron clad security. The same thing happened. I determined to wait a full 5 minutes before I despaired. Finally, the guard, Eddy, poked his head out the front door and there I was. It was at this moment that he decided to enlighten me about ANOTHER doorbell to ring if he doesn't hear the first one. Thanks Eddy.

STINT...where less happens in a day than I thought humanly possible.

So I've been in Costa Rica for a week and I have been reduced to having the capacity of a 10 year old. Actually, when I was 10 I think I was able to accomplish more in a day than I am able to right now in Costa Rica. Yesterday I took the bus with a friend, and he had to show me the exact coins to use to pay because I didn't understand when he told me how much it was. I find myself following my friends around like a lost puppy because I don't know how to even take care of basic things in life. Well, that is what this blog is for...to help me tell all of you the crazy things that happen on STINT. And maybe in a few months you can celebrate with me when I understand how much things cost.

The "Best" chain letter I have seen

"My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I am so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay.

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank you,
Billy "Smiles" Evans

p.s. You can send money to the person who sent you this because that person is very trustworthy. Make it tens and twenties, please."

immunization shots and moving don't mix

I am leaving the country in a couple of months and decided it was about time to get updated immunization shots. I had my doctor's appointment today. I also decided this was a great week to move out of my apartment and put everything into storage. I've discovered these two activities do not mix very well. Remind me to never get 3 immunizations on the same day that I pack all my earthly possessions into boxes and haul them around town. Just in case I try to do this again.

Ugly Christmas sweater party

One of the best parts of my job is our annual Ugly Christmas sweater party. With 100 people attending and only a small Goodwill store to buy a sweater from, I always think I should buy my outfit early. Invariably I don't look for a sweater until the day of the party. This year was no exception. When I showed up at Goodwill on Wednesday afternoon I ran into 3 guys from our ministry who bought the last of the "good" stuff. The only things left were several Christmas vests in kids sizes.

My dreams of an ugly Christmas sweater were thwarted so I figured the next best thing would be to buy any ugly sweater. I found a grotesque baggy red sweater with a built in fur scarf. The creators of this ugly sweater were geniuses and attached the scarf to the neck of the sweater at the back so it would never fall off. There was even a slot for the fur to pass through the other side giving it a "scarf" look. I was awed by the creativity of the desiger in making something so hideous.

As it turns out, my sweater wasn't ugly enough. At the party many people greeted me hesitantly with,"You look cute." After hearing variations of this greeting all night I concluded that people couldn't figure out if my sweater fit into the ugly theme or not. Either I don't know current fashion and the "ugly sweater" I bought is actually in style, or my friends thought this was my new favorite sweater and they didn't want to offend me. Either option leaves me feeling insecure as to my ability to dress myself.

Moral of the story...I'm going "ugly Christmas sweater" shopping January 1st this year.